December 3, 2005

• The heart is an amazing thing. It's like a generous landlord that always has a new place saved for someone special and even for those who are undeserving. Yes, generous it is as it seems endless with special spots just for certain people. I'm sure you've heard it as well when someone exclaims, "You'll always have a special place in my heart". Congratulations, you have just received a stay at the hotel of love. Some of these stays are complimentary in which the owner of the heart wants nothing from you in return for his/her generosity. This is sometimes known as unconditional love. Some have the rare and special talent of giving this free room and board to everyone they meet in their lives. These are the ones with the 5 star luxury hotels.

  Then there are stays that come with a price. You may have encountered this if someone in your life only takes and never gives back anything except a measly spot in their heart. And you're always in danger of getting evicted if you don't adhere to their strict rules and perhaps demanding ways. But sometimes we keep paying these hefty costs because we are blinded by love and see only a grand castle in front of us. But when everything you have to give is sucked dry and the dust settles, you finally see it for the sleazy, roach infested motel it truly is. Actually sad yet sweet to say, I'm sure there are people who continue to stay no matter how desolate the room is ... because perhaps they are the unconditional lovers mentioned from above who give and need not take.

  And then there are some stays that seem to use a bartering system of pay. The I give you this much if you give me that much. In other words, the I love you because you love me approach. Perhaps you're thinking, "but Mimmie... isn't this the best kind where two people love each other?" Not in my book, I say. Of course it's great if two people can feed off each other's love but I'm sure you've heard plenty of times where someone dumps someone before they can be dumped themselves. It's called "in love with being in love". Which, don't get me wrong, can be great at times. I've been in quite of few of them myself and let me just mention that they never came with the storybook ending I was hoping for. And in the long run, this kind of love is what I call "settling".  And this is what most people end up doing and if it works for them, hey more power to them.

  The hopeless romantic that I am, thinks that the purest and truest of all loves is the kind in which both "tenants" have free and permanent fortresses in each other's heart. Of course this kind of blind trust and love can lead to many one sided relationships, but I believe with all of my heart (heehee, unintended pun) that if you take the risk to love someone unconditionally with not a care of if they love you back or what they can do for you... you may just be surprised and granted with them loving you back with the same amount of unconditional love. And when this happens, all you have to do is concentrate on loving them and you never have to worry about yourself because all they're doing is loving you right back. So instead of I'll scratch your back only if you scratch mine... it's more of a I'll love forever no matter what and how blessed I am that you feel the same way about me.

  I used to think that I'd choose to be loved more than to love more simply because it seemed safer that way. Not to mention that I always thought it was cuter to have the boy love the girl more. Well, I no longer care to be loved more. I'm going to take my own advice and just love without needing anything back in return. Hurt may come from this decision and yes, perhaps lots of pain. But it will be worth it just knowing I tried. And who knows, I may just per chance fall in love with someone who loves me back unconditionally as well.

  As Alfred Lord Tennyson sweetly wrote, " 'Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."  
  
  

  • 12:31 pm
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